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May
the handstand from hell
You should scale these three workouts to your ability level: choose the two-minute, three-minute, four-minute, or the full five-minute version. To tally your ’score,’ if you choose the ‘two-minute’ version, you must spend a cumulative total of 120 seconds in a handstand. Begin the clock when you begin the handstand, clock runs continuously; but only in the handstand position counts toward your 2, 3, 4 or 5 minutes. Report your total time (including extra time for each ‘break’ of squats, etc.) and the total number of squats you did. Or push-ups (maniacs who choose this workout). Or sit-ups.
If you’re working alone, it’s difficult to watch the time for yourself. So download this tabata timer and set it to give you 5-second intervals, which will let you time the length of your handstands.
So far, Valhalla CrossFit has only been offering workouts for beginners. The two-minute version of this workout is extremely difficult!. Unless you’re a handstand-dancing monster AND feeling especially frisky, please use “120 seconds” or “180 seconds” for the workouts below.
#1: 300 seconds
Hold a handstand against the wall for 300 seconds.
Every time you ‘come down’, do 50 squats before you kick back up into the handstand.Like any ‘for time’ WOD, you’re trying to get this done as quickly as possible. The 300-second-countdown only runs while you’re in your handstand!
Report total time and total number of squats to comments.#2: Frown Upside Down
300 seconds handstand.
30 push-ups every time you fall.Someone in the middle east loves you. Maybe.
Report total time and total number of push-ups to comments.#3. Sunny Side Up
300 seconds handstand.
50 sit-ups every time you fall.Report time and number of sit-ups to comments.
Some personal history.
A trainer once told me, “Ok! One more, Last one!” and he was lying. I still carry the baggage of this trauma, the emotional scars of his duplicity and betrayal. I think of him when I’m making these workouts up for you, then I look at myself in the mirror, turn off the lights, shine a flashlight up my nose from under my chin and laugh until I hear the neighbors’ children crying.
I’ll put more exposition for this workout in the comments.
Some people say, “find a safe place to do your handstands.” Those same people are the ones you hear using their cell phones in public bathroom stalls. Because I listen to them doesn’t mean I have to listen to them. They’re not the boss of me! And they’re not the boss of you either.
Handstand Push-Ups, HSPU, should be among your top 10 favorite exercises. They are king among shoulder and core strengthening exercises, and arguably do more for you than any other shoulder exercise.
Developing the HSPU is like developing the pull-up: you use assistance, and you tweak the body’s position. Most people assume a pike position (bent at the waist) while putting their feet (or knees) up on a chair or jump box. Thus they try to get the torso vertical to the ground, and then do push-ups along the vertical plane of the torso. Better forms of assistance come from looping the legs over a stationary bar, and of course a talented partner.
CrossFit does many workouts including the HSPU. For those who cannot do HSPU, I see them trying to ’substitute’ a prolonged handstand. Doing prolonged handstands is, in itself, a fantastic exercise. The problem is: a crossfit workout is ‘for time,’ and when substituting a prolonged handstand, the athlete tries to stay in the handstand for as long as possible. This is a little backwards: the stronger I become at holding my handstand, the longer the time of my workout, which means: the lower my score. The reason we do crossfit WODs “for time” is to motivate power, i.e. work / time, aka intensity and metabolic impact. Even if you don’t care about competing against others — this includes most people, I believe — how do you monitor your own progress, if getting better means the HSPU portion of your workout keeps getting longer while the other elements keep getting faster?
I solved this problem, and also created a workout just for people who cannot yet do handstand push-ups. You’re welcome. Yes, you’re going to hate these workouts. In a good way.
May 29th, 2008 at 7:34 pmThat is one crazy pic!! Is that really you? Thanks for the suggestion - we’ll do this WOD tomorrow.
May 30th, 2008 at 4:14 amMade it to 120 seconds with two come-downs, 100 squats, 4:13 total time.
Now, I did completely cheat in one respect: I can’t do a handstand to save my life. My technique was to start facing away from the wall, getting into a push-up position, and walking my legs up the wall/my hands towards the wall until I was vertical.
June 1st, 2008 at 1:16 pmSOG knives…
Interesting ideas… I wonder how the Hollywood media would portray this?…
July 19th, 2008 at 9:49 am